Mind Your Own Business

Knowing when and how to mind your own business should be common sense.  However, knowing how to 'mind your own business' is not known to everyone.  In order to mind your own business you must first be able to set your ego aside and have respect for others.   Once again, not everyone does that.  So how does one learn how to mind their own business and not poke our noses where it does not belong? Setting my ego aside and not wanting to poke my nose where it doesn’t belong, only those interested should read on…

As a professional advisor and consultant, I am mindful of crossing the line between providing guidance to my clients and when to simply mind my own business.  However, I am amazed at how many of my clients tend to stick their nose where it does not belong, is not wanted, nor needed.  Minding your own business requires respect for others.  You need to understand that the other person is an individual with the ability to make his/her own choices.  You need to realize that you are not always right and assuming that you are, only implies you have an over inflated ego.  Recalling an old Mac Davis song, “Lord it’s Hard to be Humble”, which reminds me of the Mr. or Miss Know-it-Alls of the world! 

The best advice ever given to me was, “Live and Let Live”.   

Advice always sounds good from people who have, been there and done that.  Such as, parents, teaches, or professionals who sadly we often choose to tune out.  However, when someone who assumes to know it all offers unsolicited advice, it is so irritating.  Giving advice or helping when asked is a good thing, but simply being nosy and giving ‘well meaning advice’, when not asked is not good!  So, it is important that people understand where to draw a line when it comes to giving advice. If you aren’t asked, keep your mouth shut; and if you are asked, leave the ego out of it.   Secondly, keep it brief and respect the other person’s rights. Suggest only what you have done in similar situations NOT what they should do. Thirdly, if you have no personal experience to bring to the table or offer, then do not pretend or make stuff up to make yourself sound better.  Finally, do not be offended or upset when they reject your advice and do the exact opposite--after all, it is their right to make their own choices.  

Having said all that…

The key to knowing when and how to mind your own business is to check your ego at the front door and respect others.  When a person is humble enough to accept that other people are entitled to have their own opinions, that person is minding his own business. Keep in mind, just as you have the right to make your own choices, so does others. 

'God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me.' ~ Author unknown, variation of an excerpt from "The Serenity Prayer" by Reinhold Neibuhr

Today's Guidance

"The greatest step towards a life of simplicity is learning to let go. Stop allowing anyone or anything control, limit, repress, or discourage you from being your true self! Today is YOURS to shape - own it - break free from people and things that poison or dilute your spirit." (Steve Maraboli)

I have openings this weekend and will be available for phone and chat session via the Talk/Chat Now feature until 11 pm CST w/short breaks as needed throughout the weekend.  If you do not see me available, place a callback and I will sign in as soon as possible.    

Please visit www.lilmel.com  to set up prepaid appointments or use the TALK/CHAT Now feature to your right to connect with me! 

Creating Self-Love

 

Have you ever found yourself holding onto resentments, guilt, or humiliation?  Holding these feelings inside, feeding them, and refusing to release them often breeds anger, depression, and a feeling of worthlessness.  These negative  thoughts and attitudes seep into our daily lives, blinding us to the everyday blessings that await us.  

As humans, we are much too hard on ourselves.  Many of us believe that being perfect is a requirement for being valued.  Having worked at something only to fall short of our goals causes us feel as if we have wasted our time and energy for nothing; promoting feeling of self-loathing and guilt of having failed yet again. 

What we need to keep in mind is that we are lovable even as we stumble; even more so when we fall.  For by taking the risk of trying, we may stumble, but we learn, we grow, and then we move on.  In all honesty, I believe I have experience more learning and growth during the times I stumbled and fell; even if it did take me a while to pick myself back up!

By releasing and ridding ourselves of the harmful buildup of resentments, we start to forgive ourselves.  This process can bring us everything we seek; ability to concentrate, renewed energies, clarity, love, and a sense of playfulness…you name it!  The rewards are endless!   

Many of us struggle with the issue of forgiving others and especially ourselves.  We find it difficult and near impossible to release feelings of guilt. While our intellect tells me that holding onto all these negative feelings is counterproductive;  it is easier to revert to old behavior patterns.  After all, that is what we are familiar with; it’s cozy, comfortable, its home!   And as we all know, there is no place like home! J

I think it is important to learn to practice forgiveness starting within ourselves.  For as we begin to forgive ourselves, release the resentments, and lovingly embrace ourselves, we project a loving healing light that touches those around us. 

Having said all that…

Starting today let's make a pact to work on releasing any feelings of resentments, guilt, and self-anger we may have within.  We can start by  working on letting go of the negative thoughts, attitudes, and self-image.  Let's surround ourselves with self-love; creating a warm bubble of pink, capturing allowing only Divine love to penetrate this bubble.    For today we will forgive ourselves and accept that we are awesome human beings and start learning to love ourselves unconditionally again!