Holiday Traditions: Ever-Changing

Normally stressed about the impending holiday season, I often complained, "I'm not doing this again next year!" Whether its decorating the entire house for Christmas, accommodating schedules for a Thanksgiving meal, or resolving conflicts over the timing of that darn Christmas Eve get together--each year I experienced these once welcomed traditions as dreaded events.

These traditions began when my children were small and after my divorce. Since my former husband's family lived out of state and gathered on Christmas Day, I created the Christmas Eve get together as a special way to celebrate with my children. Opening presents Christmas morning at home with me, they would leave immediately after to spend the rest of the Christmas break with their father and his family. Over the years, as children got older moved away and have families of their own the value of the event grew into the highlight of my year! I loved keeping these traditions and enjoyed these time honored traditions and looked forward to preparing the celebration for many years.

Today, my children and grandchildren gather at this traditional event. The difference is that they all have other family traditions to honor & scheduling is often a conflict. The original meaning of these holiday gatherings have changed. They no longer represents drawing people together with anticipation and excitement. Now it is one more chore, a sign that the tradition needs updating.

"Can you change traditions?" I wondered

Of course you can--our holiday traditions have been slowly changing; evolving over the years.

One of the highlights of the holidays was the week before Christmas baking with my daughter. We would bake cookies, cakes, breads, and make up treat trays! Not only did we bake for our small family, we made up trays for family members, co-workers, neighbors, & other important people in our lives. Another highlight, was driving down to Kentucky to visit my mother & siblings for a weekend--delivering the holiday trays, spending time together, exchanging gifts and swearing we should do this more often. Of course we could only handle the one weekend together (sometimes less) but it was fun for the short time we had. :)

However, due to hectic schedules & time constraints, over the past few years the baking was replaced by store bought baked goods. The trips to Kentucky were less frequent & ceased completely after my mother's passing last year. Although these are cherished memories, with the families growing, changing, distance, and time constraints maintaining all those holiday traditions is too difficult and sometimes too painful. For example, my mother used to talk me through making meatballs via the phone and webcam. We would laugh & giggle our way through my feeble attempts to recreate her award winning meatballs!! I haven't made meatballs since her passing. My friend Jo related a story how she & her mother did the holiday baking together and played cards while waiting on the cookies--she hasn't baked since her mother passed away. Sad...but it happens.

Hearing similar stories caused me to reflect my own changing holiday traditions.

"What's really important about holidays?" I asked myself. For me, the point of holidays is spending time with the ones I love and care about. To show each person how I really care about them. Tears sprang to my eyes as I thought of those cherished memories of those no longer with us, with the "traditions" that can never be again. Then a light went on, perhaps my mom flipping the switch for me, some of my traditions are outdated and lost their meaning. With this awareness I decided it's time to create new ones!

This holiday season I have taken a more flexible attitude when it comes to scheduling time with family. Searching for fun inexpensive or free holiday events, I have numerous things schedule to do either on my own, with grandson, or any family member that is able to attend. Thanksgiving morning was spent at the big parade downtown St Louis with my son & his family, a first for us, but so much fun. The Thanksgiving meal wasn't served until the evening time after my daughters arrival--another first for us! As for the "traditional" Christmas Eve get together...I will have to see what everyone's schedule is like! As long as we spend some time together it doesn't matter if it's Christmas Eve, Day, or even the day after Christmas! :) Maybe this year I will make meatballs...won't be the same, but I betcha I can find a smile or two as I relieve some cherished memories of my mom.

As this holiday season approaches filled with past traditions and rituals, take time to reevaluate the meaning of your traditions. Are they still providing the original meaning? Is a tradition creating more stress than value? Is there another way to convey meaning that would be simpler or more effective? If it's significant, maintain it. If it has lost its purpose or meaning, create a new one.

May you have a happy and meaningful holiday season!

Living in Truth & Intergrity

Are you living a life of "Truth & Integrity"?

We are living in times of a great challenge and great awakening.
We are being called upon to remember the simple and profound truth of who we really are. Now is the time to be very honest with yourself. To be true to yourself in how you live your life; all your activities and your words.

To create a life of truth & integrity, you must let go of anything that is not the real you, and those activities that do not show your true intentions. If something in your life isn't working, now is the time to let it go. If you desire change and speak of change, let your actions reflect change.

For years I voiced my concern over how unhealthy my smoking habit was but I did nothing to change it. Finally, 6 years ago I decided that my addiction to smoking was unhealthy and unacceptable way of life for me leading me to the conscious decision to overcome this addiction. Having made the decision was only the first step, following up with actions was necessary to complete the transaction. Putting down the cigarettes, seeking out medical assistance, and developing a support system to overcome my addiction were necessary actions. By following up my words with actions that mirrored my desire to "kick the habit" , I was living in truth & integrity.

The above is but one simple example of living within your own truth & integrity. Releasing unhealthful situations, attitudes, or behaviors begin with the spoken desire to change--followed with actions to facilitate change.

You want to be a kinder person?
Then practice acts of kindness.

You want to be more loving?
Then practices acts of love.

Want to rid yourself of bad habit or addiction?
Then takes actions to STOP!

You love someone?
Your actions should reflect this love.

Value your relationships?
Your behavior should reflect the value you place upon them.

You want to be honest?
Then practice honesty in ALL situations!

The list goes on & on, but you get the idea.

Now is the time, "Let go of anything inauthentic, and all activities that do not mirror your highest intentions for yourself." (Dorreen Virtue)