Most of us understand the concept of how holding onto the 'old' can interfere with the 'new'. In order to let something new in, you have to release the old. This is true whether you are focusing on a new relationship, starting over, a new 'you', or just a 'new' outlook on life. Think of letting go of the "old" to make room for the "new" as cleaning out your psychological closet by letting go of what's old, out-of-date, and useless. That means we must clean out and release fears, patterns, lovers, and family traditions that keep us stuck in the past in order to prepare for new beginnings.
Imagine a clothes closet jammed full of clothes (I bet most of you can easily relate to this). You can barely squeeze one more article of clothing into the closet, and you have to fight to pull the clothes out, and they ended up looking wrinkled & crushed. Many of the clothes are old, tired, torn, out of style, or just do not fit anymore!
As a metaphor, it means that you are holding onto worn-out ideas, patterns, beliefs, desires and fears, no matter how useless or outdated--just like your clothes. It's time to examine them, air them out, and discard them, if necessary. That opens up space inside you to accept something new, at a higher level of development.
What does it take to change your inner patterns? Actually, it helps to start on the physical level by cleaning out a closet--if you don't want to tackle that, try the attic, basement, garage, or kitchen. "Spring cleaning" no matter what time of year it is done, allows us to sort through possessions and decide what we really want to keep and what it's time to let go of. Allow yourself an entire day to clean out your "closet". Believe it or not, it is a big project (physically as well as emotionally). Letting go of your possessions, even clothes, especially old favorites, can be quite traumatic. As you sort through your clothes, consider the following questions or statements:
*Is this something I really need or want? (tatty, gray, stained, old, dirty)
*Is this something I really won't wear? (too big, too small, out of style)
*Am I keeping it for sentimental value, even though it is out of style? (my first boyfriend loved me in that outfit)
*I've never worn it, but I liked it when I first bought it? (but now it is covered with dust)
*I look good in it, but I've never had anywhere to wear it? (sound familiar?)
*It's such an old friend, even though it's totally shredded? (Friends don't let friends look ugly)
*Do I fit these clothes any longer? (Ah, well maybe I will lose some weight--let's face it, most of us will never be the same size we were 10 years ago!)
If you have any clothes that fit any of those criteria, its' time to let them go (just like any outmoded beliefs or behaviors). Those clothes reflective attitudes you have about yourself that are unrealistic, out-dated, or self-deprecating, which hold you back and prevent something new from coming in. This process may take a few sessions to complete. But upon completion you will find that not only have you "cleaned your closet", you have literally cleaned your psychological closet as well. Releasing old ideas, beliefs, attitudes, and let go of those things from the past that hold us back or no longer serve our higher purpose.
As you begin and complete each 'cleaning' project you will find that a huge burden has been lifted as the weight of those old ideas, thoughts, beliefs, and attitudes are released. Let's not confuse letting go of the past with letting go of all of those memories. For some memories are good and can bring pleasure to us, however, it is more of letting go of those that no longer serve us presently and which hinder our letting in the new.
While "cleaning out your closet" may sound like I am simplifying the need for the occasional 'psychological cleaning', if you try this just once, you will find that you will come out ahead emotionally--and will reflect in your life in amazing ways!
I recently relocated leaving the only home I have known for the past 22 years! As you can imagine, in preparation of the move, I engaged in some "Spring cleaning" myself. With downsizing foremost in my mind, I tackled several closets, storage areas, and even painted & spruced each room. In doing so I have released so much emotional garbage that has held me back from creating my own "new beginning". My last task was to clean out my clothes closet; as a Virgo I am known as the proverbial pack-rat, hence why this particular project was saved for last!
Now that the heat wave has limited our outdoor activities this is an excellent time to take the plunge and clean out those closets! :)
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Transitioning through life
Transitioning through life...
As we know, life is jam-packed full of milestones! Life IS transition. From childhood to teen years, to adulthood, to middle age-- from school to work, from no kids to kids, from empty nest to grandchildren, from job to job, location to location, making new friends, losing old friends, losing loved ones...health issues, financial issues, etc etc; and some aren't easy! However, to not transition, is to stagnate!
With each milestone comes a transitional period; each transitional period brings new stressors into our lives.
For example, when my children grew up and moved out, I faced an extreme sense of loss and change in identity. Being pro-active about the transition helped move me toward acceptance of this new season of life. It was a great time to rediscover myself and explore the possibilities for the second half of my life!
As with any life transition; retirement, starting a home based business, divorce, seperation, kids moving away, health, or financial issues the process takes time. Part of this transition involves establishing new roles, new responsibilities, new relationships, and a new perspective. The trick to adjusting to all this “newness” is in the attitude or perspective; overcome the challenge by looking at it as an opportunity!
A successful transition does not ‘just happen’, it takes time. Allow yourself a fair amount of time to adjust to the new arrangement before throwing in the towel, pulling your hair out, or resorting to anti-depressants! {The six month rule would apply here.} The key to a successful transition is to develop a new routine, re-define ‘roles’, consider all your possibilities, express creativity, and find some new hobbies or interests.
For me, the most helpful in adjusting to my new life was creating a new daily routine. For example, including running/walking and going to the gym daily. Those two activities occupy most of my mornings. These activities allow mental and emotional stimulation, as well as a chance to socialize.
And to express my creativity I took up writing again--and published two books!!
Adjustment comes in different ways for each of us; weight lifting/running is my thing, but might be the least activity you desire. There are many options available; volunteer or community work, clubs, or church groups. The key is determining what fits your personality, interest, needs, and situation.
As this is a sharing forum, I welcome any comments, suggestions, or insight for those struggling with such a major life transition.
As we know, life is jam-packed full of milestones! Life IS transition. From childhood to teen years, to adulthood, to middle age-- from school to work, from no kids to kids, from empty nest to grandchildren, from job to job, location to location, making new friends, losing old friends, losing loved ones...health issues, financial issues, etc etc; and some aren't easy! However, to not transition, is to stagnate!
With each milestone comes a transitional period; each transitional period brings new stressors into our lives.
For example, when my children grew up and moved out, I faced an extreme sense of loss and change in identity. Being pro-active about the transition helped move me toward acceptance of this new season of life. It was a great time to rediscover myself and explore the possibilities for the second half of my life!
As with any life transition; retirement, starting a home based business, divorce, seperation, kids moving away, health, or financial issues the process takes time. Part of this transition involves establishing new roles, new responsibilities, new relationships, and a new perspective. The trick to adjusting to all this “newness” is in the attitude or perspective; overcome the challenge by looking at it as an opportunity!
A successful transition does not ‘just happen’, it takes time. Allow yourself a fair amount of time to adjust to the new arrangement before throwing in the towel, pulling your hair out, or resorting to anti-depressants! {The six month rule would apply here.} The key to a successful transition is to develop a new routine, re-define ‘roles’, consider all your possibilities, express creativity, and find some new hobbies or interests.
For me, the most helpful in adjusting to my new life was creating a new daily routine. For example, including running/walking and going to the gym daily. Those two activities occupy most of my mornings. These activities allow mental and emotional stimulation, as well as a chance to socialize.
And to express my creativity I took up writing again--and published two books!!
Adjustment comes in different ways for each of us; weight lifting/running is my thing, but might be the least activity you desire. There are many options available; volunteer or community work, clubs, or church groups. The key is determining what fits your personality, interest, needs, and situation.
As this is a sharing forum, I welcome any comments, suggestions, or insight for those struggling with such a major life transition.
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